Why is it so hard to be content? Why does my heart constantly want what it does not have?

St. Augustine of Hippo, whom our son was named after, wrote in his Confessions, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee”.

Restless. It is often a close companion of discontent. The two of them run together, causing turmoil and strife. They pull at my attention, my wallet, and my heart. They ultimately whisper the same lie that Adan and Eve chose to believe in the garden so many, many years ago causing the fall of creation.

“God isn’t enough.”

Even just typing that out brought a wince to my face. Because I know in my heart that it’s false. God IS enough. He is all I need. But when the rubber meets the road, is that how I live? When my child dies, but hers lives. When my child is disabled, while hers thrives. While my home is disorganized and old fashioned, but theirs is stylish and beautiful. While my hair is falling out, hers is luscious. While they get to have a date night, I’m forcing anti-epileptic drugs down my infant’s throat praying it’ll stop her seizures and not cause her any other harm. I could go on and on…but the bottom line is this; comparison doesn’t just breed discontent. A heart not fully set on Christ, not fully engrossed and satisfied in Him, is only going to keep searching for something, anything to make it feel complete, or happy, even at peace.

And though it may seem obvious, circumstances, places, things, and people cannot bring us true peace. So if I keep waiting for the perfectly curated home or the warm fuzzy feelings from my relationship with my husband, or Shirley to be magically healed(which is possible with God, but very unlikely), I will only be left wanting. I will be left dissatisfied and discontent.

Before the fall, Adam and Eve had perfect communion with God. They walked and talked with him in the garden. They had no shame. They had literally all they could possibly need and more. They wanted for nothing. But as soon as they doubted God, as soon as they started placing up idols in their heart, wanting what they flesh desired more than desiring God, it all fell apart.

Shame. Anger. Fear. Misery. Discontent.

We were made to be in communion with God. Our hearts were made to only be fully satisfied in Him. It should come as no shock then when we aren’t satisfied with the temporal things of this world.

So when you feel those fleshly urges to hit the shelves at Target or scroll through your Instagram feed, or feel discontent in your relationships, turn and run to Jesus. Run to the only one who can set your restless heart at ease. The only one who can satisfy you fully.