Faith Titus

Being a parent to a child that has special needs, whether those needs be social, emotional, or physical, is HARD.

Most parenting goes through phases of development. Eventually, you leave the diaper years, and your child can use the bathroom themselves. One day, you wean your child from a bottle or nursing, and then later, you no longer have to spoon-feed your child. At some point, your child is even capable of making their food. You dream of your child learning to drive, and getting a job, and married and having their children.

The special needs parent’s dreams look a little different. Depending on their needs, they may never stop changing their child’s diapers. They may never stop spoon-feeding their child. Driving and jobs and marriage may not even be in the equation. Instead of vacations, they trade them in for hospital stays.  Instead of date nights, they have tube feeds and medications. They have to fight for joy and choose peace in a tough situation.

These parents are weary, exhausted, and often isolated. It’s not as easy to go out with friends, or host parties, or do every day essential tasks.

I have had others ask me time and time again, how they can help, and honestly, I often don’t know what to say. Because there are a million and one ways, people can help. But where do I even begin? I mentally sort through all the skills that person has and how they could meet a need using their gifts, I weigh in the cost it takes them(time or money), I try to calculate if they are merely being kind or genuinely want to help. And in the end, feeling overwhelmed, I only say, “please pray for us.”

Ultimately, prayer is what we need. Only God can bring peace amidst the chaos of my heart. Hope amidst a bleak diagnosis. And true joy when there is so much suffering. So my answer will always be “pray for us.” But it can and should be more than that. People want to help, and I should be able to let them.

In reflecting on how we could use encouragement and help, and in talking with other special needs parents, I thought it would be helpful to list the ways that others can love those of us who are suffering. I hope to be able to give you practical “boots on the ground” advice because chances are you know a parent of a child with special needs, and chances are they could use your love through this treacherous journey.

With that said, this series will be filled with ways you can encourage, serve, and love that weary parent in your life. I may even get crazy and do a follow-up series concerning siblings of those with special needs.

I hope you follow along on this journey. Stay tuned for part 2!